How do I feel inner confidence?
Confidence is what you believe about yourself.
You may not feel this yet, but deep down, your body knows exactly who you are and who you're not.
And inner confidence starts with embracing this fully.....consciously and unconsciously going 'yep this is me and I bloody love it'.
So when you go out with colleagues, instead of stressing beforehand about whether the clothes you're wearing look good enough, are appropriate and spend time worrying what people think of you, you wear what feels good to you and don't give it much of a thought.
When you walk into a networking event, instead of dreading the thought of walking into an already formed group and joining the conversation, you just do it.
When you've got to deliver a workshop or presentation, instead of procrastinating on getting it sorted because thoughts of 'no one cares about what I have to say' stop you from getting on with it....you know from within what you have to say is powerful and you just do it.
To be able to feel more inner confidence, it's likely you're going to have to work through the layers of limiting beliefs that you have gathered along the way in life.
These limiting beliefs can come from your lived experience:
If as a six year old the teacher didn't choose you for an activity, you might have taken on the belief 'who I am and what I have to offer is not good enough' and find it hard to believe you are good enough to step outside your comfort zone and make your dreams come true by taking a big step in your life/career.
If as a child struggled to make your voice heard by your family, you might take on the belief 'what's the point in speaking up' and find it hard to speak up or speak your truth in a meeting, when there are differences of opinion etc.
If your decisions were always questioned (out of concern by a parent), you might take on the belief 'I'm never going to get it right, so why bother' and struggle to make decisions, often looking to others for confirmation of what you should do.
Limiting beliefs can be absorbed from people around you:
If you grew up with a parent who struggled with parenting, you might take on the belief 'I'm a bit useless, so what's the point'.
If your parents were fighting when you were a child and didn't listen to you when you tried to get them to stop, you might take on the belief 'it's not safe when I'm not in control' and find that you need to control a lot of things in your life and work.
Limiting beliefs can also be been trapped in the cells of your ancestors and passed down generations, so yep, there can be layers of shit to get through. But it’s totally possible and then things start to feel easier, the inner critic quietens down and you start behaving differently in ways that support what you want to go after in life.
The majority of these limiting beliefs are unconscious, so you don't realise how much they dictate how you behave on a daily basis. And unconsciously, behaviours such as procrastination, people pleasing, over-thinking, over-analysing all take up precious, precious hours of the day.
You know the thing...you've got an important email to send to a colleague, but you spend an unnecessary amount of time reading, re-reading, changing, re-reading and re-reading the email again to check it's just right. So that when they read it, because you’ve taken so much time to word it so amazingly that there is no possible way they can be pissed off and not like you. A two minute job has turned into 20 and then as soon as you send it, you're sweating it out waiting for their reply. Imagine typing that same email, proofing it and then sending it. Without worrying about whether they’ll still like you.
Or when you've got something that's a bit out of your comfort zone and without realising it, you're cleaning the house, watching Netflix, scrolling social media....anything BUT the thing that would push you out of your comfort zone. Anything easier unconsciously gets your attention and before you know it, it feels like another day wasted where you haven't moved forward with the really important thing. Imagine just doing the thing outside of your comfort zone without the procrastination and worrying if you’re good enough.
Limiting beliefs are the reason that although you've got all the skills on paper, it feels like something is missing and you don't know why you feel like you're not good enough or that you don't know enough.
Bringing these beliefs into conscious awareness and shifting them so you're not holding yourself back is a truly transformative process and what will help you feel more inner confidence.
It can be beneficial to go on this journey with someone else because they can help you bring the limiting beliefs out into the open and then support you to shift them.
If you think it's time for you to find your inner confidence, the invitation is there to contact me to set up a free call to find out more about how my 1:1 confidence coaching programme could help you or your employees.
